#gotta go rewire my brain or something lmao
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#taking a lil break from posting bc im getting too in my head about it lmao#having that 'oh im talking too much feeling'#also in general I feel like im just flooding tags and being annoying#i wanna rethink my whole tagging situation for the smaller fandoms I'm in bc it is mortifying to check a tag and see like multiple of mine#in a row bc everyone else kinda figured out their own personal tagging system#like idk when tumblr stops being fun bc I feel annoying I know its time to uhhh go touch grass or something#queue is set up so this blog isnt just dead but yeah#gotta go rewire my brain or something lmao
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i loveee all your thoughts abt the girls !! do u have any moniyuri hcs they like rewired my brain chemistry
HSJDJD SAME i did not get this ship at all until one day light bulbs suddenly lit up in my brain and ive never been the same since. I gotta say there is not enough content of them, except of a few one-shots here and there
So, Monika and Yuri have always been a very interesting duo imo because they are weirdly similar despite being polar opposites tropes on paper (popular girl / loner girl ). I mean, all the girls have something in common with one another but in different ways. I think both of them are really socially awkward, Yuri of course more so, with the main difference being the way they handle it. Yuri’s way of dealing with her lack of social skills is closing up, not really putting herself out there because if she does she will probably make a fool of herself, while Monika takes a more “fake it till you make it” approach (which actually works quite well considering she is the most popular girl in school and everything). Anyway, this has somehow turned into me just talking about Yuri and Monika let me backpedal to the headcanons lmao
I already mentioned their tropes, but yeah popular girl x loner girl goes HARD
We know from act 3 that Monika loves to just sit back and talk about whatever random thoughts pop in her head and Yuri loves to listen to her ramble. Sometimes Yuri gets excited about something (her books, her DND campaign, you name it) and she starts rambling to Monika. They just love talking to each other endlessly about nothing and everything
Monika is straight up obsessed with Yuri. Like, she cannot go five minutes without mentioning her if she’s having a conversation with someone else. And when Yuri is in the room? Good luck getting her attention, she’s too busy making googly eyes at her
I’d like to think the way they would get together would be the most normal one out of all the pairings, since both of them are the more outwardly mature ones of the club, but I also think they are not as mature as they would like to make you think (especially in a regard like this one). The confession would either be very organic or very awkward I really don’t know
In my natsuri headcanons I said Yuri is the little spoon, but that was with natsuki. Monika is the littlest spoon that has ever littled spooned in the history of little spooning. I will not be taking notes on this.
Both are extremely touch deprived btw, but both of them are also awkward enough to not know how to ask for cuddles, hugs, ect. Monika probably breaks out of this first tho, meaning she is the one that mostly initiates outside of a few exceptions
Yuri is always taken aback by how affectionate Monika is (mostly verbally, but also physically sometimes). She definitely doesn’t feel as comfortable being that affectionate constantly herself (especially in public) but that’s because her way of showing affection is in smaller acts that speak a lot, which Monika finds extremely sweet
I’ve seen some people headcanon that Yuri listens to classical music, so maybe Monika plays her piano sonnets from time to time
also i think they borrow each others clothes
Bonus :
Monika : “Would you still love me if I was a worm? :(“
Yuri : “Yeah, of course.” *…Why would she be a worm???*
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Personal spiritual rambles and introspection ahead
Hm. Weaving nets
Imma put in bold what I think is most relevant from my word vomit.
Last reading I got said something about this and in first instance I didn't understand. Not sure I do still but curious I got specifically that card, I am so new to all this small things like those never fail to surprise me and I go all like "oh shit ok this is happening" fjslssjdlckdl. I thought it meant like making contacts with people which I'm not discarding but it felt a bit off at that time. Work with Loki went from chill to scary real fast but the scary is not about Loki, it's about me being scared of change I'm sure. Yet it's so rewarding. A lot is going on yet I think it's the perfect moment for me to get serious with this. I think he was patient at first because he knew how difficult it was going to be for me to kickstart it. Or perhaps he was waiting for me to take the step of properly asking... not leaving it as an uncommitted maybe. And now I have committed.
So, we did harsh truths once, and it was hard and it stang deep but overall was for the better, now we're onto second harsh truth I am struggling to see I think? Doesn't help my memory is shitty af and tunes out what I learn... Or perhaps I don't want to see it, perhaps I am avoiding it, perhaps I should just write it down when I think about it yes? I might start carrying a small journal with me... or just post it here. I do tend to get this weird head pressure when there's something I can't see yet, as if my brain was hiding info from me. I think I'm slowly getting closer to figure out something useful. I mean, I have been doing stuff useful for my personal growth, I think I am too impatient too. Change doesn't always come quick and sudden, but I always seem to want it that way.
I think my general failure to see the bigger picture keeps me bound to small details which in the end makes me lose sight of the rest of interconnected things... making a single knot bigger than it should be, bearing more weight than it should, in a net that should be balanced - or at least I want it to be, a bit more. There's a lot of strain... That is one thing. So I am working on my perfectionism but I think that's not exactly the issue, rather like, hyperfocus, overworry; is one of the things. I'm too caught up with what's familiar to me and struggle accepting the new. Ohh. Struggling to accept and implement changes, to see myself differently... There we go. Back to that square? I guess it makes sense if I have been taking refuge in familiarity all my life. Ok but, back to that square in some areas. I have made progress with change in others.
I gotta think about rewiring my brain, way of thinking, concept of self and how I see and interact with the world around me. I do struggle with connecting to the external world and get too caught up with myself (autism related isolation and social difficulty plus trauma are fun!/s) but my brain net as I'm picturing (?) is old and weary and barely handles the weight of the current circumstances. It is unbalanced and what worked back then doesn't work nowadays. Self-isolation, freezing and avoiding isn't it and there's a lot of things I react to this way that should be worked on and changed. Rather that I should work on and change, nobody else will do that for me lmao.
Change doesn't come through sudden epiphany most of the time. Sometimes it does! but it's extremely situational dependent. And even so you can go back to familiarity pretty easily. Something becomes familiar and automatic through repetition... so picking one thing to do differently and repeat may help. And nets, interconnected. Okay. So changing one small thing through repetition consistently may cause changes in other areas. Like that's how people do it right?
I think I might get another reading soon. Perhaps today or sometime this upcoming week since I have more free time. It might be useful.
Okay writing about this helped I think, new viewpoint. Now I gotta decide on how I'll apply this... and not leave it just at thought.
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